A Puppy

We've been flirting with the idea of getting a dog for a while. Living out in the country, it seems like a really good idea, specifically because everyone else out here has a dog....or three, it appears, and they seem to go for group jaunts through the neighborhood pilfering what they can from other people's (our) yards. But we weren't sure, and we tossed the idea around and hemmed and hawed, and then a week or so ago, we got a little more serious, and i started looking online for a good guard puppy. We thought we would rather get a puppy so that Stanley (the kitten) would have a better chance of becoming friends with the new guy or girl.

Yesterday or the day before, i found an ad online for free puppies that were lab and who knows what mixed.

One of the example puppies looked like this.





And here's the mom.






I thought they were really beautiful. The mama is reportedly 60-70 lbs and an excellent watch dog. So today after having some family over until early in the afternoon, we left to meet and pick out our new puppy at the Cleveland Wal-Mart.

We drove around for a while and finally found where all the puppy sellers and givers away were stationed, and we parked where we thought our puppy was located. As it turned out, we didn't find our lady, but we pulled up next to a pick-up where black lab puppy mixes were being given away.

They look a lot like this puppy.




I did not realize how very much my husband liked black labs until today. But now we have two. Silly me.

There were 4 or 5 puppies left when we got there, and they were all asleep. The first one to wake up was very cute with a little white beard and some white markings on his chest. So we picked him. I was holding and loving on him when i noticed my husband wasn't finished looking and picking. Before you know it, i hear myself saying, "...if you're sure you want two...." The second puppy is more rotund and he won our hearts when he fell asleep with his head in the food bowl - and then on the way to one of us, got too tired and lay down in the water. =) The second one looks almost perfectly exactly like the picture i posted. The only difference is he's a little rounder, and the slight color change on the inside of the eyebrows is a little more gray.

I have named the round one Barnabas - or Barney for short. The name just fit him. He's adorable. The first one, who is James' favorite, is temporarily named Samson. That could change. Samson is a little more lively and outgoing than Barney. We think they'll make great partners.

One of the reasons we wanted a puppy was so that Stanley would have a friend. I'm not sure Stanley likes our plan. But he's warming up to it....i think. At first Stanley arched his back and would have nothing to do with them. Then he started looking for some other place to be....snob. But then he got more and more curious, and for about 10-15 minutes, i had the puppies sleeping soundly on my lap and Stanley curled up purring on my shoulder....and i didn't get scratched at all. So i think we might be on to something.

I told James on the way home that since the puppies get to be partners, that now we have to get Stanley a kitten. He looked at me funny.

James is now in the shed building puppy quarters. I found some carpet in the attic for the puppies and the kitten. Later, we'll go into town and buy a very large bag of Puppy Chow. These guys can eat!

Catching Up

About church:

This past sunday, I woke up feeling either sick or depressed or possibly both. At any rate, I did not go to church. Instead, I yelled at my husband and went back to bed. I later repented of my yelling ways, apologized to my very understanding, kind, and wonderful husband, and improved my attitude.

Oh, also on Saturday, I had a big day planned with my very good friend, Meredith, and I skipped women's group for friend time, which was quite nice. I am, however expecting my copy of Tim Storey's “My Utmost,” by mail any day now.

I hope to return to women's group this Saturday, but my hopes may be further postponed, since my husband's mother and step-dad may be visiting from Houston.

My plan (If the Lord wills) for this Sunday is to visit the same church again but to go to another church afterward. The first church usually lets out by 10 or 10:15, so I have plenty of time to take in another service.

The second time that I went was nice. The man preaching was very patriarchal, and I liked him. He said that he is the pastor of the parent church's parent church. His message was simple and encouraging and unquestionnable. I also learned that the music service is so short because the leaders leave to lead another service where the aforementioned patriarchal gentleman pastors.

About the little red building:

It's gone. On Saturday and Sunday, my loving and very industrious man brought the old building completely to its end. All that remains now is rubble which we are working to carry by wheel barrow trips to the very stinky fire. This evening we were rid of the broken down appliances that were inside the little building. Oh, - flashback- when James was moving the stove, a big grey rat jumped out. I saw it first, so of course, I screamed. I believe that's my responsibility, isn't it? Anyway, James didn't know why I was screaming, so he screamed too. Haha! I've never heard him do that before. It was great. Anyway, the rat immediately burrowed itself in the rubble, so we (James) had to dig around and find it and scare it away into the woods before we could continue our work. I really dislike rats.

About me:

I've been discovering new things about myself. I spent several days last week digging up and compiling genealogy information. I had so much fun! I stayed up most of the night but still awoke the next morning filled with energy and gumption. This is similar to the enjoyment I get from putting things in order. I love to diagram sentences. I love to sort things. I'm weird that way. It really just tickled me silly to take a big pile of assorted diapers at Meredith's house and sort them all by size. Ridiculous enjoyment.

Also, i've always thought that I liked routine. I don't think that's true. I think I really like to do something different almost every single day. Now that there isn't much to dictate my schedule, i'm pretty non-routine with most things. I like little routines though – like every weekday at 6pm, I watch “King of the Hill”. But as far as what I do each day.......i can't seem to force myself to do it the same way twice. So i'm going to try to let God show me how He wants to use that. I remember when I finally yielded to the realization that (don't laugh – o.k. you can laugh) God made my hair messy and maybe I should stop trying so hard to tame it – that I became a lot more pleased with my hair (and spent a lot less time trying unsuccessfully to tame it). Maybe i've been locking myself into a routine life all these years when God has been trying to show me that He wants to use me to do things that aren't so routine. We'll see.

About sappy deep stuff:

I think my personality profile might include something about it being difficult to get to know me. I think that should reword that. It's difficult to get to know me in the traditional manner. Some people seem to get to know each other by asking each other questions and telling each other about themselves....or something like that. But for me, the relationships that count...they grew from time spent together. As a girl, I always wanted to be like my mom but couldn't tell you exactly what that meant. That's because my mom's not a big talker. She's there to be known and to know and to love and be loved, but she doesn't say a lot. My dad said he prayed for a daughter who would be like her mother. I've always believed that God granted just a part of his request. I'm a girl – but like my mom, not so much. My mom is quiet and kind and hard-working and thin and beautiful and very graceful and talented, unassuming, helpful, and kind, to name a few things. Oh and giving...after I left home for college, whenever I would see her, she would just give me anything she thought I needed – right off of her person. One time, while she and Dad were coming through the town where I went to college – on their way to someplace else, my mom saw that I needed a watch, and she just took hers off and handed it to me. Anyway, the point is, I could never really see any similarities between my mom and me. The similarities between my dad and me were obvious. When I was a teenager, and we would argue, Mom always said that when we were both saying exactly the same thing, but with different words. We have similar desires and similar emotions, and well, Dad talks plenty, so it's easier to learn about him without trying TOO hard. =) But I couldn't see any similar things with my mom except the brown hair.

Lately though, i've been noticing something new. The more I stop trying to be who I think I am and instead relax a little and try to see who God made me to be......well, i'm getting to know my mom better, by getting to know me. And i'm happily and timidly surprised to learn that I might be a little bit like my mom. It's little things like the enjoyment of baking – or crocheting – or putting things in order. (I asked her, and she says she really likes putting things in order too.) So i'm getting to know her by doing the things that we both enjoy. And when I do them, I can understand the enjoyment she feels when she does them. And it encourages me to think that the possibility remains that as I get older, I might become more like her. She's not God, but she has a lot of His attributes. And i'm pretty sure that He put her in my life to show me more of Him.

(For the record, my dad's no slouch either. On another post, i'll have to tell you about him.=))

About right now:

It's getting dangerously close to 1am. I'm glad I wrote. I hope you read. And I have a feeling that I will have more energy in the morning. But I better post before you decide to stop reading my blog.

About that other entry i deleted...

Thanks to all of you who left comments about my questions! I really really appreciate the input.

A couple of things for an update:
While i was in church last Sunday, i already felt like i should come back one more time. Also, in listening to God about the weird newcomer's situation, i felt like it would be wise to have a personal conversation with someone in leadership, instead of writing to who knows who reads those. I have someone in mind, but i'm not ready to talk yet.

Although, part of me seriously suggested that i stay home this morning, i instead, attended women's group. I enjoyed it a lot. And i really really liked the women there. There were ten women, ranging in age from 23 to 60-something. They've just started going through a book together. It's Utmost Living, by Tim Storey. I am now trying to buy the book on ebay. The chapter we read today was about matching your purpose, passion, and priorities. It really really spoke to me and helped me.
One of the leader-women gave me a volunteer paper - where you read about the beliefs of the church so that you can say you agree with them, submit your personal information and share how you might be willing to serve, and also there's a part about a background check. I didn't ask for the paper, but i was glad she gave it to me. If there had been no opportunities for volunteering, i probably would never have gone back. I'm hoping there are some reaching out type of opportunities too. But...before i fill out that form, i think i'm going to check out a couple of other churches in the area. But tomorrow, i intend to go to this same church again.

As Josh hinted at, it's hard to move on from CTK without adjusting your expectations. And i'm not completely sold on this place. Something inside of me really wants to look around and make sure before i make a commitment on any level. So unless God speaks to me otherwise, i'll probably continue with this women's group and maybe even their midweek service but start visiting some other churches on Sunday- and maybe small groups.

I did learn today that because the pastor is pastoring two churches, they're not doing it the way CTK did it. The main pastor comes and preaches sometimes, but the rest of the time, they kind of rotate around between several people. And if they're having a special speaker (such as Tim Storey) at the parent church, they'll often simulcast it to this church, so the little church doesn't miss out. I'm pretty sure i can be o.k. with that - mainly because the intimate leadership comes from the small group, and that's what has always been more important to me that who's preaching anyway.

O.k. that's all for now. My brain isn't working very fast, and it has taken me quite a while to get this much down.

Tearing Down the House

This is a picture of the little red house that sits next to the house i live in. I am told that the family we bought this house from actually lived in the little red house sometime way back in the 70s - with their kids! It's amazing!

You can't tell it from the picture, but the roof is caved in, which makes it difficult and expensive to get home owners insurance. We would've torn it down right away except that it is hooked up to our electricity - on our house - the one we live in. And when James tried to disconnect it, he discovered that the screws that would make that possible were rusted tight.

Yesterday, that all changed. James' friend from work came over after work, with tools, and they disconnected the electricity and caved in the front wall of the little red house. I think that's a very interesting after work activity for men. "Hey guys! Wanna go over to James' house and tear down a building? Yeah!"

Anyway, today i began the job of tearing the little house plank from plank and burning the pieces. It was fun. There's something very exciting about tearing down walls. With the use of only a household hammer and my gloved hands, i actually tore down an entire wall of the little house...one of the long walls. It's cool when you find the weak spot in the wall and it starts to give way - which makes another place weak...and so forth.

I'm sure there's a spiritual metaphor here. And also in the incredibly hot fire that the planks made. I haven't come around to it there, but it's still spilling around in my head. Tomorrow, we decided we won't just burn everything. Some of the pieces are not riddled with termites or mold, so we need to save them for other projects.

O.k. not very exciting, but that's all i've got for today.

That, and i'm watching Israel closely and praying for her.

Good night.

about what we call "death"

i read this on someone else's blog today, and i didn't want to forget it, so i decided to share it here. obviously it's a little bit more complicated, but this is a great metaphor....specifically for those of us who have believed on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, “isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?”
Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy, “how great is our Mother’s love, that she shares her own life with us!”
As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. “what does it mean?” asked the one. “It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, said the other. “But I don’t want to go”, said the other, “but maybe there is life after birth.” But how can there be?” responded the other one. “We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.”
And so the one fell into deep despair, saying, “If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It is meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all?” “But there has to be,” protested the other. “How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?”
How you ever seen our mother?” said one. “Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good?”
And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

Author Unknown