New school, new friends, happy birthday.

The next place we moved is really important. I don't think any of us knew it at the time, but it was REALLY important.

Sometime during the summer after 7th grade, in Linneus, we began making plans to move to a small town in Texas, called Oakhurst. I'm going to try to remember as many details about this as i can.

I remember that i got a letter before we moved, from a girl in the church where we were going, who was my age. Her name is Kristi. Kristi had been praying for a Christian friend, and she wrote me a letter to say hello and welcome me to our new church. It felt really really good to have someone waiting for me, expecting me to be their friend.

Kristi's dad is/was a builder, and he was still in the process of building the church parsonage when we moved, so we got to stay in a really neat house owned by Kristi's uncle. I thought it was a neat house because it had a finished basement with a big bathroom, and it opened up to the back yard. That worked because the house was kind of built into a hill, so the basement and the top floor opened to the ground. I wanted the basement to be my bedroom, but my dad thought it was too dangerous for me to live in a room with a separate entrance, etc., so i slept upstairs, down the hall from my parents.

I remember that my bedroom must've belonged to a little boy previously, because the walls were covered in soldier wall-paper. Another interesting thing about that house was discovered not too long after we moved in. This is that our fireplace was housing a scorpion's nest. A couple of times, when my dad got up in the night to use the restroom, he nearly stepped on the evil critters. We found them in the sink, looking for water, i guess, on the floor. The scorpions became pretty creepy, and i don't remember what we did about them.

One night i went into my bedroom and discovered the biggest bug i had ever seen. It looked just like a hippopotamus, and it was about 3 inches long. Crazy bug! I didn't want to go back into my room for a long time after my dad took care of the hippo bug for me. But i never saw another one again.

The very best thing i remember about this house was my 13th birthday.

My birthday is in September, so it's always been difficult to have a very successful birthday party at a new school, but this time was a little better. I'm sure Kristi had a lot to do with that.

I was pretty timid, so it was hard for me to decide who to invite to my party. We decided on a slumber party, and i think i ended up with three guests: Kristi, April - a new acquaintance, and Joy - who later adopted me as her best friend. Let me take a minute to tell you about my new friends.

Kristi was tall, blonde, and beautiful. She always seemed very grown up to me. She always wore a lot of make-up, and she was definitely part of the popular crowd. A really cool thing about Kristi is that as long as i knew her, everyone always mentioned how nice she is.....classmates from all the different groups always mentioned that she was popular, but she was always nice. =)

April is someone i always admired because she's so small and athletic. I mean really small. April and i never became very close, but she was always nice to me, and i was really glad she came to my birthday party.

When i first met Joy, in eighth grade, she wore coke-bottle glasses, and she had her hair permed curly. Joy didn't seem to think much of her appearance, but i always thought she was beautiful. I'll tell you more about joy throughout my stories. She's the friend who truly stuck.

Anyway, back to my birthday party.

We got to have the slumber part of my party in the basement. That was very exciting. For food, my mom made pizza dough and bought all the fixins so that we could make our own pizzas. It was very very COOL. I have a very cool mom!
I don't remember too much else about the party. We did somersaults in the basement, and we talked about the sort of stuff that 13 year old girls talk about.

I do remember that the next morning, my parents surprised me with a new bicycle. I remember that my parents', especially my dad's excitement seemed to outweigh my own. It was a great gift, and i had it for many years.

That's also when my parents bought me a new NIV Encounter Bible, with devotionals in the back for kids my age. I still have that Bible in my desk drawer at work. Most of the devotionals have fallen out, but the important part is still there, though the beginning of Genesis had to be scotch taped back in.

So that's just the beginning of a lot that i'll have to write about later.

Linneus

After Brookfield, we moved to Linneus.

Linneus was about 15-ish miles from Brookfield and a smaller town.

We lived in a bright yellow two-story house, and it was 7th grade. I remember turning 12 that year.

Linneus had a mini-mall, which i think was an old school, where 3 or 4 people had opened up shops for icecream and hamburgers or something.

In Linneus, i learned that i didn't have the stamina to reply with love to boys who called me "Thunder Thighs" on the bus.

I also learned how to fight with and beat boys who abused their younger siblings (that was eye-opening and weird.)

I learned that even though 3 minutes didn't seem like long enough in between bells, that i could get to class with plenty of time to spare. This was after some months of 7 daily near heart attacks ever time the bell rang, but i learned.

I got a weird nick name in Linneus.
*I had a history teacher with a speech impediment, who called me Beff.
*Some classmates thought that was great and started calling me Biff.
*And then in the next town where i lived, my new classmates started calling me Biff. I never figured out how that happened.

On the first day of school, a girl named Heather offered to be my locker partner. That was really nice, and she was my friend for a long time. A couple of years ago we briefly found each other on line, and it was really nice to talk to her again. I think she's doing o.k. If you read this, Heather, i was really sorry that we lost touch again, and i would love to hear from you.

O.k. I guess that's enough Linneus.

Brookfield, Missouri

Brookfield is where our new rental house was.

About 30 minutes/miles away from Chillicothe as i recall.

I can't say i remember what the plan was there. We were only in Brookfield over the summer months. I was home alone a lot while my parents were working, and i remember trying to make myself like coffee.

It was time, i decided, for me to grow up and learn to like coffee. After all, i was nearly 13 years old, (or was it 12?), and it's very important to take those steps to do those adult things so that people will see that you're an adult......or something like that.

I tried very hard to like coffee. I tried to drown it in sugar, and that didn't work. I'm not sure if i knew about cream, but at some point i gave up on coffee - until i got to college......that's when desperation inspires deep abiding love for coffee, but that's another story.

I have really good memories about those months in Brookfield, and to be honest, i don't know what they were. I just know that when i think about that house, i feel good. Maybe it's because that house was the answer to my fervent prayer.

But back to the growing up thing - the coffee reminds me of myself now. I drink coffee alright, but there are other things that i have not accomplished that i think i need to accomplish in order to establish myself as a responsible human being. For example - Christmas Cards. I have stacks of signed an unmailed Christmas cards in my closet - and a sign on the door reminding me that i'm an adult now, and i better get on those cards in September.

Is this really something that establishes me as an adult, or is it something deeper. Maybe i need to realize that i will have never arrived, and that no matter how adult i am, i must continue to grow and learn. By God's grace, i'll accomplish better feats that learning to live on coffe in order to survive college.

Back to the Story - another move - and answered prayers

Last time (before i rabbit trailed a couple times), we were in Melrose Kansas, where i met my friend, Hannah, 14.

We lived in Melrose for 10 months, and then we moved to Missouri.

At first we stayed with a pastor family in Chillicothe, Missouri. I don't remember exactly what the plan was or anything, but there we were. The idea was for us to stay there just long enough for Mom and Dad to find work and a place to live.

The thing about this short stay is how God answered my fervent prayers.

I don't remember their house being a bad place to stay or anything, but at some point, i know we were really ready to have our own place, but things just kept stopping progress somehow. One day, i curled up in one of those round wicker things with a big round cushion, and i just wept before the Lord, and i asked Him to PLEASE give us our own house. That same day my parents came home with keys to our own house.

It still makes me tear up...the feeling to know that God was listening to me, and He heard my prayer, and He acted on my behalf. He proved Himself to me that day. And 21 years later, i have not forgotten.

The Stars

Before you start reading, just know that this is a complete break from the chronology of telling you about my childhood. This is just something i want to share.

A few years ago, a well-meaning family member tried to get me interested in a website about astrology. I felt wrong about it, but for the sake of social fun or whatever, i explored it just long enough to enter my birth date and time and see "what the stars would say..." All of us at this particular family gathering were surprised at the apparent accuracy of the personality profiles produced from this website, which got me more interested. And though i couldn't explain this phenomenon, i heeded the warning of the Holy Spirit in my heart to stay away from this dangerous territory.

A few days ago, my husband ran across a book in the book store, which attempted to do the very same thing - and once again, he was astonished at how accurate it seems to be--that someone who he has never met could tell him specific and unusual things about his personality, based simply on the day he was born.

Regarding this subject, i have always pacified myself with the knowledge that God created the stars and the planets and their rotations and movements, and He created me. However, this has always remained a mystery to me - how it could be.

I remember a point sometime between a few years ago and now, when i determined, based on nothing but my knowledge of the love of God, that perhaps my birth had more determining power over the position of the stars than the position of the stars had over my birth. I felt like i had heard a little truth from Heaven, but it was just a very small piece.

After pondering this subject together with my husband on Saturday, and once again choosing to acknowledge that God made me, and He made the heavens, and recognizing that many falsehoods are based on a small piece of truth, (i.e., people's personalities and the position of the stars seem to be related, but my fate is not determined by the stars; this is a God-less approach to the wonders of a very real God.) i put the subject back in the back of my mind.

But then on Sunday, when i wasn't thinking about it at all, the Lord began to speak to my heart with impressions and pictures that gave me a glimpse into more depth of God's truth about the relation between my life and the stars.

But first let me say this: it isn't a stretch for me to accept that the positions of the moons and stars, etc. - the bodies of the heavens have an effect on our life here on Earth. I have worked in a county courthouse long enough to see the relationship. There were days, when i worked in a more heavily trafficked public office, and we would notice that the people who seemed a little off their rockers would tend to appear all on the same day - the day before or after a full moon. And, of course, the moon affects the tide in the sea. These are the effects that are easiest for us to see, but what else might there be?

While i was praying and worshiping the Lord, He began to remind me - establish in me - that He placed the stars in their places in the sky. He also reminded me that, though we can't hear them with our ears, stars emit frequency - a tone. What i began to see and understand is that the heavens are singing a song, playing an orchestration of God, and these songs are going on all the time. Our position here on earth, in relation to the different stars and planets, is always changing. If you stay in one place after dark and notice the stars, you will see that the stars straight up at 10 p.m. are in a different place in the sky at 1 a.m. I feel that i can say with certainty, that the position is never the same. It is ever changing. And thus the song that God is singing over us is ever changing.

My understanding now, is that because God has known us since before the formation of the Earth, He planned our song and the exact timing of our birth. He set the Earth and the planets and the stars and the moons in place to orchestrate a specific song in the heavens - a unique song over every life.

I pray you can see this.

I can also see this when i consider the birth of Jesus. Jesus was born under a star that had never been seen in the sky before. Imagine the song that was sung in the heavens.

Tears Over Broken Dishes

I didn't realize until this morning that i must've been feeling a little stressed out lately.

I've had to get up pretty early every morning this week, and i worked late a couple of days; then today (Friday), my husband needed to take me to work 2 hours early (we share a car). So i am in the kitchen this morning around 4:50 or so, packing up a serving of the chilli mac my husband lovingly stayed up late last night to prepare for my lunch, and when i go to put the dish back in the refrigerator, it slips out of my hand, flips upside-down, and lands on the kitchen floor, breaking my only serving dish into about ten pieces, but somehow keeping all the contents clean because it all stayed on the plastic wrap that was covering the bowl.

What did i do? I should've rejoiced that the contents were saved, i suppose, but i did not. Instead, i stood in my kitchen, a grown woman, stared hopelessly at the mess on the floor, and burst into loud sobbing tears. I continued to stand their and bawl helplessly like a bratty child for over a minute before my loving man, apparently hearing of my distress all the way in the bedroom, came into the kitchen, cleaned up my mess while i continued to sob, gave me a hug, consoled me, and told me to stop crying and go fix my make-up.

The reason i'm telling you this story is because it reminds me of another memory of Mormor's house. I was nine or ten at the time, and for some reason, it was a big deal to me that i was getting to help with the dishes. I have a memory of a large stack of drying dishes in the drainer, and i think i went to remove one to put it away, when it fell on the floor and broke into so many bits of broken ceramic.

What i remember most clearly is how dismayed i was and how long i cried over that bowl! My loving mother came to my rescue that time. She kept telling me, "it's o.k." but i wouldn't have it. I was horrified that i had been entrusted with the welfare of these dishes but had missed the mark and shattered the very bowl i was appointed to care for.

This morning i was saddened at my apparent waste of my husband's kindness toward me, in seeing to it that i would have a good lunch to take to work.

It's funny, really, but i didn't think so this morning. =)